Wie Lloth verstossen wurde... (englisch)
Verfasst: 21. Mai 2005, 05:55
Geschrieben von ripvanwormer
It happened that Erevan Ilesere was curious where Fenmarel Mestarine disappeared during the night. Turning himself into an owl, he followed Fenmarel through the winding paths and underbrush where Fenmarel met with his secret lover Araushnee. Erevan was puzzled. Why would Fenmarel keep his relationship with the goddess a secret? The Seldarine would celebrate their love, as they celebrated the love between Correlon and Labelas, or the love between Erevan and a cloud he had, after too many exotic mushrooms, mistaken for an elf (their child was Aedrie Faenya, goddess of the sky).
Then Araushnee pulled Fenmarel into the darkness, and Erevan saw her with his owl's eyes, which need no light to see. Araushnee was a monster, a many-eyed horror with eight chitinous legs. Every night she wove her web more tightly around Fenmarel Mestarine, suckled him more with her venom, and he was too blinded by her charm to notice. They had all been blinded by her charm. But Erevan was a bird now, with a bird's wisdom. Birds are never fooled by spiders.
Erevan Ilesere let out a cry of surprise, and Araushnee looked up at the intruder. She shot webs at him with her spinnerets; Erevan dodged the webs, and flew out of the cave in a panic.
Leaving Fenmarel Mestarine bound in the cave, Araushnee leapt after the spying owl. Erevan Ilsere turned himself into a star and hid within the constellation of the Crabman, but Araushnee identified him by the way he quivered more than the neighboring fixed stars. Next Erevan turned himself into the north wind, but Araushnee found him when she noticed the north wind was unseasonably warm. Finally Erevan turned himself into a flea and hopped into the forest, not stopping until he reached the palace Corellon Larethian had built over the castle of the giant king. "I must warn Corellon!" Erevan thought. "Corellon is the strongest. Corellon will be able to defeat the spider."
But in Corellon's palace, Araushnee was already there. Looking like a beautiful elf again, she told Corellon casually that a flea had gotten in.
"Eeek!" screamed Corellon Larethian. "Kill it!"
"With pleasure," said Araushnee, and popped the creature into her mouth.
"That's, like, totally gross," said Corellon Larethian.
Trapped in the maw of the spider, Erevan Ilesere did the only thing he could think of: he traveled into Araushnee's egg sac, and tranformed himself into spider seed.
Three days later, he had managed to grow by a hundredfold. Araushnee's pregnancy was obvious to all, even through her charm. She explained that the baby was Corellon Larethian's, an idea that surprised Corellon Larethian and infuriated Fenmarel Mestarine, for whom the webs around his heart were tighter than ever.
Three more days later, Araushnee was having contractions. Three days after that, she gave birth to a beautiful baby elf girl with dark skin and light hair like her mother's.
"Aren't you the cutest little thing?" Corellon Larethian asked the baby. Corellon named her Eilistraee.
'Yes," said Eilistraee. "Yes, I am. Also, my mother is an evil spider queen up to No Good."
When a fact is presented from the mouth of a babe, it becomes obvious. Nobody wants to admit to being dumber than a newborn.
"I knew all along that she was a tanar'ri," said Corellon. "To the Abyss with you!"
"Nooo!" shrieked Araushnee, transforming into her true form. Corellon picked her up by one leg and swung her around, then released her until she went flying into the Abyss as the giant god Grolantor had long before. "By the way, my real name is Looooolllth!" Araushnee shouted, her voice fading in the distance.
No longer needing his baby disguise, Erevan Ilesere turned into himself again. But he did it when nobody was looking, because it might be handy to have a secret identity. It was a good thing, too, because a few weeks later it was Fenmarel Mestarine's turn to babysit. To Eilistraee's surprise, Fenmarel took her back to the cave where once he had met with Araushnee. Fenmarel looked around to make sure no one was watching, not even an owl.
"Meet your brother," Fenmarel said to Eilistraee. "You mustn't tell anyone about him, or they'll chase him away."
Eilistraee looked, appalled, at the squalling, hissing thing Fenmarel had been caring for. It was half spider, half elf, and thoroughly grotesque. "You kept its young?"
"We kept you," said Fenmarel. Eilistraee had to admit he had a point. "Vhaeraun might not be as pretty as you are, but he's still a member of the Seldarine. And he's your brother. Promise me you won't betray him."
Reluctantly, Eilistraee promised. Vhaeraun gave a gurgling chitter, his eight eyes turning pale blue with happiness. "Aw," said Eilistraee. "You are kinda cute after all."
As Vhaeraun grew, it became harder and harder for Fenmarel and Eilistraee to keep the secret. He ate a tremendous amount of food, and now Fenmarel Mestarine spent most of his time hunting in order to feed his ravenous appetite. By the time he could walk, Vhaeraun would no longer remain in his cave. They would turn their back for just a moment and Vhaeraun would be miles away, dangerously close to the realm of the Seldarine.
"Okay, kid," said Eilistraee, though she looked no older than Vhaeraun. "I see we're going to have to take drastic measures." She transformed into Erevan Ilesere.
"Well?" he asked Fenmarel Mestarine. "Aren't you surprised?"
"Not really," said Fenmarel. "Who ever heard of a talking baby? I'm not stupid."
Erevan didn't bother to hide his disappointment. "Anyway," he said, "I've got to teach my little brother to shapeshift." Over the course of the next week, that's exactly what he did.
With Vhaeraun looking like a normal little elf, he was ready at last to be presented before Corellon Larethian. "But who should we say is his mother?" Erevan wondered.
"You are," said Fenmarel Mestarine.
"Fine," Erevan sighed. "The things I get myself talked into..."
"He's adorable," Corellon sighed when she met Vhaeraun. "And already walking! But I didn't know you took female form, Erevan."
"There's a lot you don't know," said Erevan Ilesere. Corellon gave her a funny look. "But where's Eilistraee, my favorite talking baby?"
"With the Seelie Court," said Erevan. "I thought Titania might be a good influence on her."
"Oh," said Corellon. "That's a good idea, I expect. Who's a cute little Vhaeraun, then?"
Vhaeraun chittered. Erevan nudged him. "I love you Grandma," said Vhaeraun, remembering his role.
"I love you too, Vhaeraun," said Corellon Larethian.
As Vhaeraun grew still older, he became still wilder and still harder to handle. And then he discovered girls.
It isn't considered a sin in elven culture to conceive a child out of wedlock. However, for some reason the Egyptian pantheon dislikes it intensely when an elf god seduces the daughter of Ra right in front of her outraged husband, the god of marriage and childbirth. Bast was merely the latest in young Vhaeraun's long string of conquests, but she was an especially poor judgement call on his part.
It happened in a tavern in a town built around a portal leading to Arvandor from the Land Beyond. Many gods were enjoying themselves that night, and in fact a temporary truce was in effect between many rivals: Vhaeraun noticed Kossuth and Istishia engaged in a friendly bout of arm wrestling, Set and Osiris singing the songs they had learned together as children, and even his grandmother Corellon making out with Gruumsh. The sight of a spiderlike form made him briefly hope his long-absent mother Lolth might have made an appearance, but it was only Anansi getting hopelessly drunk on rum. Thoughts of his mother left his mind, however, when he saw a fetching catgirl sipping catnip tea in a corner booth.
"I just love anthropomorphs!" he gushed at her. "D'you want to see my spider face?"
"Excuse me," said Bes. "That's my wife you're talking to."
Vhaeraun ignored him. "My mother's a spider," he continued. "Is your mother a cat?"
"My father and mother is Ra," Bast explained. "I am his living eye, personification of life, fertility, and my father's righteous anger."
"I must be a god of thievery," Vhaeraun speculated. "Because I steal hearts."
Bast giggled. "You're cute," she said. "Did I mention I'm also a goddess of pleasure?"
"Hello?" asked Bes rhetorically. "Husband here. Am I even part of this mythos anymore?"
It seemed that Bes was not, because Bast and Vhaeraun retired to a hotel room shortly thereafter. They were woken up the next morning by none other than Corellon Larethian and Gruumsh.
"How's my favorite grandson doing?" Corellon hung on Gruumsh's arm without apparent shame.
"Hey, uh, champ," said Gruumsh. trying without success to find the least awkward place to put his hands. He alternated between inside his pockets and crossing them behind his neck.
Vhaeraun peeked his head groggily out of the covers. "Um. Hello!"
"And who's your friend?" asked Corellon, her voice far too cheerful for its own good.
"This is... this is..."
"Zandilar the Dancer," Bast said quickly, swapping her feline face for an elven one before spelunking her way out of the sheets. "Of the Yuir pantheon."
"I've totally heard of you guys!" Corellon shrieked. Wincing, Gruumsh covered his ears. "That's about enough of that," he said to the elf. "We are so breaking up."
"You didn't mind me shrieking last night," said Corellon.
Vhaeraun retreated beneath the blankets. "Far too much information for this early in the afternoon," he grumbled.
Trouble didn't arrive until sunrise the next day. Vhaeraun was woken from a sound sleep underneath a pile of bar stools by a ray of light more vivid than any he had ever encountered. "Can you turn that down a little? I'm not really a day person."
"Nay," said Ra, flanked by the stern. thuggish figures of Horus and Anhur. By his side was a fearsome, battle-scarred goddess with the head of a lion. "For you have defiled my daughter with your inhuman seed."
"I'm Inhuman? You're a parrot! Or something."
"Calling him a parrot isn't how you get on his good side, sweetie," said the lion-headed goddess, who was Bast in her warlike aspect Sekhmet. "By the way, I'm pregnant. That's the fun of dating fertility goddesses!"
"Who are you people?" Vhaeraun moaned.
"Daddy," Sekhmet complained. "He doesn't even remember who I am!'
"I think I would have remembered dating a lion," said Vhaeraun. "Well, maybe not remembered exactly, but..."
"Vhaeraun," Ra intoned. "For your crimes, you are hereby banished to the orbs of Carceri, fit for only creatures of darkness to worship." A ray of light pushed Vhaeraun off his feet and across the planes.
In Carceri, Vhaeraun grew bitter as each attempt at escape left him back where he started. Occasionally he visited his mother, but for some reason she never had any cookies for him like Corellon Larethian always had and she didn't catch rabbits for him like his father Fenmarel Mestarine.
"It could be worse," said Eilistraee, visiting him one day.
"How?" Vhaeraun sulked. "I never get to do anything anymore. It's always gehreleth this, demodand that. The titans are all stuffed shirts. Every time I escape for a little bar-hopping, I wake up here again."
"Some would call that an advantage," Eilistraee pointed out. "You never have to explain why everything's broken or awkwardly introduce anyone to Corellon. You don't have to change Selvetarm's diapers."
"Maybe I want to change Selvetarm's diapers."
"You don't. Seriously. He's part elf, part spider, and part cat; imagine a litter box filled with little elf turds stuck together with spider silk. It's not pretty."
"Better than waking up in a patch of razorvine every day."
"Razorvine's not so bad," Eilistraee smiled. "They make great wine out of it in Curst."
"That is pretty good wine," Vhaeraun allowed.
"Look, I was going to save it for a surprise, but you can actually get out of here whenever you want now."
"Since when?"
"Since yesterday." Eilistraee gave him a trickster's grin: Erevan Ilesere's grin. "I told Gruumsh that Ra had been hitting on his wife Luthic. Sucker's dead. The Egyptians are led by Re-Horakty now. Ironic, no?"
His eyes wide, Vhaeraun grinned back. "Only one thing to do, then."
"What's that."
"Revenge on Lolth," he answered.
"Your... I mean our mom? Why?"
Vhaeraun stared into the darkness, his eyes turning red with hatred. "Not enough cookies," he said. Then, in the language spiders use when they're sick of being pushed around by the black widows, he chittered.
It happened that Erevan Ilesere was curious where Fenmarel Mestarine disappeared during the night. Turning himself into an owl, he followed Fenmarel through the winding paths and underbrush where Fenmarel met with his secret lover Araushnee. Erevan was puzzled. Why would Fenmarel keep his relationship with the goddess a secret? The Seldarine would celebrate their love, as they celebrated the love between Correlon and Labelas, or the love between Erevan and a cloud he had, after too many exotic mushrooms, mistaken for an elf (their child was Aedrie Faenya, goddess of the sky).
Then Araushnee pulled Fenmarel into the darkness, and Erevan saw her with his owl's eyes, which need no light to see. Araushnee was a monster, a many-eyed horror with eight chitinous legs. Every night she wove her web more tightly around Fenmarel Mestarine, suckled him more with her venom, and he was too blinded by her charm to notice. They had all been blinded by her charm. But Erevan was a bird now, with a bird's wisdom. Birds are never fooled by spiders.
Erevan Ilesere let out a cry of surprise, and Araushnee looked up at the intruder. She shot webs at him with her spinnerets; Erevan dodged the webs, and flew out of the cave in a panic.
Leaving Fenmarel Mestarine bound in the cave, Araushnee leapt after the spying owl. Erevan Ilsere turned himself into a star and hid within the constellation of the Crabman, but Araushnee identified him by the way he quivered more than the neighboring fixed stars. Next Erevan turned himself into the north wind, but Araushnee found him when she noticed the north wind was unseasonably warm. Finally Erevan turned himself into a flea and hopped into the forest, not stopping until he reached the palace Corellon Larethian had built over the castle of the giant king. "I must warn Corellon!" Erevan thought. "Corellon is the strongest. Corellon will be able to defeat the spider."
But in Corellon's palace, Araushnee was already there. Looking like a beautiful elf again, she told Corellon casually that a flea had gotten in.
"Eeek!" screamed Corellon Larethian. "Kill it!"
"With pleasure," said Araushnee, and popped the creature into her mouth.
"That's, like, totally gross," said Corellon Larethian.
Trapped in the maw of the spider, Erevan Ilesere did the only thing he could think of: he traveled into Araushnee's egg sac, and tranformed himself into spider seed.
Three days later, he had managed to grow by a hundredfold. Araushnee's pregnancy was obvious to all, even through her charm. She explained that the baby was Corellon Larethian's, an idea that surprised Corellon Larethian and infuriated Fenmarel Mestarine, for whom the webs around his heart were tighter than ever.
Three more days later, Araushnee was having contractions. Three days after that, she gave birth to a beautiful baby elf girl with dark skin and light hair like her mother's.
"Aren't you the cutest little thing?" Corellon Larethian asked the baby. Corellon named her Eilistraee.
'Yes," said Eilistraee. "Yes, I am. Also, my mother is an evil spider queen up to No Good."
When a fact is presented from the mouth of a babe, it becomes obvious. Nobody wants to admit to being dumber than a newborn.
"I knew all along that she was a tanar'ri," said Corellon. "To the Abyss with you!"
"Nooo!" shrieked Araushnee, transforming into her true form. Corellon picked her up by one leg and swung her around, then released her until she went flying into the Abyss as the giant god Grolantor had long before. "By the way, my real name is Looooolllth!" Araushnee shouted, her voice fading in the distance.
No longer needing his baby disguise, Erevan Ilesere turned into himself again. But he did it when nobody was looking, because it might be handy to have a secret identity. It was a good thing, too, because a few weeks later it was Fenmarel Mestarine's turn to babysit. To Eilistraee's surprise, Fenmarel took her back to the cave where once he had met with Araushnee. Fenmarel looked around to make sure no one was watching, not even an owl.
"Meet your brother," Fenmarel said to Eilistraee. "You mustn't tell anyone about him, or they'll chase him away."
Eilistraee looked, appalled, at the squalling, hissing thing Fenmarel had been caring for. It was half spider, half elf, and thoroughly grotesque. "You kept its young?"
"We kept you," said Fenmarel. Eilistraee had to admit he had a point. "Vhaeraun might not be as pretty as you are, but he's still a member of the Seldarine. And he's your brother. Promise me you won't betray him."
Reluctantly, Eilistraee promised. Vhaeraun gave a gurgling chitter, his eight eyes turning pale blue with happiness. "Aw," said Eilistraee. "You are kinda cute after all."
As Vhaeraun grew, it became harder and harder for Fenmarel and Eilistraee to keep the secret. He ate a tremendous amount of food, and now Fenmarel Mestarine spent most of his time hunting in order to feed his ravenous appetite. By the time he could walk, Vhaeraun would no longer remain in his cave. They would turn their back for just a moment and Vhaeraun would be miles away, dangerously close to the realm of the Seldarine.
"Okay, kid," said Eilistraee, though she looked no older than Vhaeraun. "I see we're going to have to take drastic measures." She transformed into Erevan Ilesere.
"Well?" he asked Fenmarel Mestarine. "Aren't you surprised?"
"Not really," said Fenmarel. "Who ever heard of a talking baby? I'm not stupid."
Erevan didn't bother to hide his disappointment. "Anyway," he said, "I've got to teach my little brother to shapeshift." Over the course of the next week, that's exactly what he did.
With Vhaeraun looking like a normal little elf, he was ready at last to be presented before Corellon Larethian. "But who should we say is his mother?" Erevan wondered.
"You are," said Fenmarel Mestarine.
"Fine," Erevan sighed. "The things I get myself talked into..."
"He's adorable," Corellon sighed when she met Vhaeraun. "And already walking! But I didn't know you took female form, Erevan."
"There's a lot you don't know," said Erevan Ilesere. Corellon gave her a funny look. "But where's Eilistraee, my favorite talking baby?"
"With the Seelie Court," said Erevan. "I thought Titania might be a good influence on her."
"Oh," said Corellon. "That's a good idea, I expect. Who's a cute little Vhaeraun, then?"
Vhaeraun chittered. Erevan nudged him. "I love you Grandma," said Vhaeraun, remembering his role.
"I love you too, Vhaeraun," said Corellon Larethian.
As Vhaeraun grew still older, he became still wilder and still harder to handle. And then he discovered girls.
It isn't considered a sin in elven culture to conceive a child out of wedlock. However, for some reason the Egyptian pantheon dislikes it intensely when an elf god seduces the daughter of Ra right in front of her outraged husband, the god of marriage and childbirth. Bast was merely the latest in young Vhaeraun's long string of conquests, but she was an especially poor judgement call on his part.
It happened in a tavern in a town built around a portal leading to Arvandor from the Land Beyond. Many gods were enjoying themselves that night, and in fact a temporary truce was in effect between many rivals: Vhaeraun noticed Kossuth and Istishia engaged in a friendly bout of arm wrestling, Set and Osiris singing the songs they had learned together as children, and even his grandmother Corellon making out with Gruumsh. The sight of a spiderlike form made him briefly hope his long-absent mother Lolth might have made an appearance, but it was only Anansi getting hopelessly drunk on rum. Thoughts of his mother left his mind, however, when he saw a fetching catgirl sipping catnip tea in a corner booth.
"I just love anthropomorphs!" he gushed at her. "D'you want to see my spider face?"
"Excuse me," said Bes. "That's my wife you're talking to."
Vhaeraun ignored him. "My mother's a spider," he continued. "Is your mother a cat?"
"My father and mother is Ra," Bast explained. "I am his living eye, personification of life, fertility, and my father's righteous anger."
"I must be a god of thievery," Vhaeraun speculated. "Because I steal hearts."
Bast giggled. "You're cute," she said. "Did I mention I'm also a goddess of pleasure?"
"Hello?" asked Bes rhetorically. "Husband here. Am I even part of this mythos anymore?"
It seemed that Bes was not, because Bast and Vhaeraun retired to a hotel room shortly thereafter. They were woken up the next morning by none other than Corellon Larethian and Gruumsh.
"How's my favorite grandson doing?" Corellon hung on Gruumsh's arm without apparent shame.
"Hey, uh, champ," said Gruumsh. trying without success to find the least awkward place to put his hands. He alternated between inside his pockets and crossing them behind his neck.
Vhaeraun peeked his head groggily out of the covers. "Um. Hello!"
"And who's your friend?" asked Corellon, her voice far too cheerful for its own good.
"This is... this is..."
"Zandilar the Dancer," Bast said quickly, swapping her feline face for an elven one before spelunking her way out of the sheets. "Of the Yuir pantheon."
"I've totally heard of you guys!" Corellon shrieked. Wincing, Gruumsh covered his ears. "That's about enough of that," he said to the elf. "We are so breaking up."
"You didn't mind me shrieking last night," said Corellon.
Vhaeraun retreated beneath the blankets. "Far too much information for this early in the afternoon," he grumbled.
Trouble didn't arrive until sunrise the next day. Vhaeraun was woken from a sound sleep underneath a pile of bar stools by a ray of light more vivid than any he had ever encountered. "Can you turn that down a little? I'm not really a day person."
"Nay," said Ra, flanked by the stern. thuggish figures of Horus and Anhur. By his side was a fearsome, battle-scarred goddess with the head of a lion. "For you have defiled my daughter with your inhuman seed."
"I'm Inhuman? You're a parrot! Or something."
"Calling him a parrot isn't how you get on his good side, sweetie," said the lion-headed goddess, who was Bast in her warlike aspect Sekhmet. "By the way, I'm pregnant. That's the fun of dating fertility goddesses!"
"Who are you people?" Vhaeraun moaned.
"Daddy," Sekhmet complained. "He doesn't even remember who I am!'
"I think I would have remembered dating a lion," said Vhaeraun. "Well, maybe not remembered exactly, but..."
"Vhaeraun," Ra intoned. "For your crimes, you are hereby banished to the orbs of Carceri, fit for only creatures of darkness to worship." A ray of light pushed Vhaeraun off his feet and across the planes.
In Carceri, Vhaeraun grew bitter as each attempt at escape left him back where he started. Occasionally he visited his mother, but for some reason she never had any cookies for him like Corellon Larethian always had and she didn't catch rabbits for him like his father Fenmarel Mestarine.
"It could be worse," said Eilistraee, visiting him one day.
"How?" Vhaeraun sulked. "I never get to do anything anymore. It's always gehreleth this, demodand that. The titans are all stuffed shirts. Every time I escape for a little bar-hopping, I wake up here again."
"Some would call that an advantage," Eilistraee pointed out. "You never have to explain why everything's broken or awkwardly introduce anyone to Corellon. You don't have to change Selvetarm's diapers."
"Maybe I want to change Selvetarm's diapers."
"You don't. Seriously. He's part elf, part spider, and part cat; imagine a litter box filled with little elf turds stuck together with spider silk. It's not pretty."
"Better than waking up in a patch of razorvine every day."
"Razorvine's not so bad," Eilistraee smiled. "They make great wine out of it in Curst."
"That is pretty good wine," Vhaeraun allowed.
"Look, I was going to save it for a surprise, but you can actually get out of here whenever you want now."
"Since when?"
"Since yesterday." Eilistraee gave him a trickster's grin: Erevan Ilesere's grin. "I told Gruumsh that Ra had been hitting on his wife Luthic. Sucker's dead. The Egyptians are led by Re-Horakty now. Ironic, no?"
His eyes wide, Vhaeraun grinned back. "Only one thing to do, then."
"What's that."
"Revenge on Lolth," he answered.
"Your... I mean our mom? Why?"
Vhaeraun stared into the darkness, his eyes turning red with hatred. "Not enough cookies," he said. Then, in the language spiders use when they're sick of being pushed around by the black widows, he chittered.
